5 Values You Should Teach Your Child by Age Five

Value #4: Consideration

Teach Them To Think about Others' Feelings
Anne was frustrated because her daughters, ages 3 and 4, ended up whining and fighting every time she took them grocery shopping. "I finally told them that we needed to figure out how to do our shopping without everyone, including me, feeling upset," Anne says.

The mom asked the girls for suggestions on how to make the trip to the grocery store a better experience for all. The 4-year-old suggested that they bring snacks from home so they wouldn't nag for cookies. The 3-year-old said she would sing quietly to herself so she would feel happy.

The girls remembered their promises, and the next trip to the supermarket went much more smoothly. Leaving the store, the younger girl asked, "Do you feel really upset now, Mommy?" The mother assured her that she felt just fine and remarked how nice it was that nobody got into an argument.

Do these small problem-solving exercises actually help a child learn the value of consideration? You bet. Over time, even a young child sees that words or actions can make another person smile or feel better, and that when she's kind to someone else, that person is nice to her. This feedback encourages other genuine acts of consideration.

Value #5: Love

Be Generous with Your Affection

Parents tend to think that children are naturally loving and generous with their affection. This is true, but for loving sentiments to last, they need to be reciprocated. It's chilling to realize that over the course of a typical busy day, the phrase "I love you" is probably the one that a child is least likely to hear.

Let your child see you demonstrate your love and affection for the people in your life. Kiss and hug your spouse when the kids are around. Talk to your children about how much you love and appreciate their grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins.

And, of course, don't let a day pass without expressing your affection for your child himself. Show your love in unexpected ways: Pack a note in his lunch box. Tape a heart to the bathroom mirror so he'll see it when he brushes his teeth. Give her a hug-for no reason. Don't allow frantic morning drop-offs or frenetic afternoon routines squeeze loving gestures out of your day.

I can practically guarantee you that the more you say "I love you" to your child, the more your child will say "I love you" back. The more hugs and kisses you give, the more your home will be filled with love and affection. And when our children feel free to express their love to us, we instill in them perhaps the greatest value of all.
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